Redeemer Presbyterian Church

Creating a “Safe Place”

To be a community where people experience the healing grace of Christ we must know how to be “safe people” and create “safe places”. This is especially true when the healing is in the area of sexual brokenness.

To be a safe place requires creating a community where broken people feel confident that they can be known and loved. It requires creating a community where people are skilled at the applying the healing medicine of the gospel to their wounds. What does this mean in practical terms?

It requires us to understand the importance of confidentiality and to practice it. We must learn to listen, weep and not be “preachy” and not get into fix-it mode. It means to help people experience “joy”: to feel that they are valued, that they are delighted in, merely for who they are and not what they do.

In short, people experience healing in the context of loving, gracious, persevering, joyful community. Knowing that people find “joy” in their presence; that in spite of their struggles and brokenness others find joy and delight in them is essential for their healing. Building joy means getting closer to God and to people. While it is a very authentic process that cannot be fabricated, here are some “joy-building” ideas from the excellent book, Living From the Heart that Jesus Gave You, to first practice with your own families and/or friends and then in our community groups and worshipping congregation.  

1. Smile whenever you greet those you love, and use sincere tones.

2. Ask questions inviting others to tell you truthfully how they are doing, and what they are thinking. Listen intently without interrupting.

3. Take a sincere interest in really knowing the other person. Work hard to understand the other’s fears, joys, passions, talents and pain.

4. Treat each other with dignity and respect. When ending a discussion, try to make both people feel affirmed.

5. Use touch whenever appropriate: hold hands, link arms, give hugs, and use physical connections as effectively as you can.

6. Discover what brings a person joy: a time to talk, encouraging notes, a helping hand, or evening walks. Custom fit your attempts to bring joy. Give them little surprises that will cause their eyes to light up, and let your eyes light up, too!

7. Cherish babies and children by establishing through words and actions that you are authentically “glad to be with them.”

The second chapter of Genesis is almost always used exclusively to reveal God’s design of marriage. While that certainly is a significant aspect of Genesis there is another vitally important teaching imbedded in Genesis two: that there is one calling for both single and married persons.

 Let me take a moment to unpack that thesis.

First, our one calling as single and married persons is rooted in God’s very being (as Triune) and in our being image bearers.

 The Doctrine of the Trinity and our Calling

God is Triune. We saw that Genesis 1 hints at God being plural when at the climax of creation God enters into “Divine Counsel” – “Let us make man in our image” (Genesis 1:26). The biblical and Christian doctrine of the Trinity means that God exists in relationship, in community and it is a doctrine that is vitally important in our understanding of our personhood and calling.

The doctrine of the Trinity teaches us that community is the highest form of life in the universe: “There is much about the Trinity that is a mystery to us. However, the fact that God has revealed himself to be triune makes it clear that community is intrinsic to the structure of reality. Community and friendship are not created but are foundational to the universe. If God were only one this would not be true. If he were dual, in him there would be love, but because he is Triune, community is the highest form of life in the universe. God always existed in a lifestyle of community.” – Tim Keller, Redeemer Fellowship Group Handbook

The doctrine of the Trinity teaches us that the very being of God is social, relational: “Within God’s very nature is a divine ‘rhythm’ or pattern of continuous giving and receiving – not only love, but also glory, honor, life…each in its fullness. Think. God the Father loves and delights in the Son (Matt. 3:17), Jesus receives that love and pleases the Father (John 8:29). Jesus honors the Spirit (Matt. 12:31) and the Spirit glorifies the Father and the Son (John 16:14). Each person in the Trinity loves, honors and glorifies the other and receives love and honor back from the others….there is never any lack.” – John Samaan, “Servants Among the Poor” Newsletter

The doctrine of the Trinity teaches us that created in the image of God we are social creatures: “The three divine persons are not there simply for themselves. They are there in that they are there for one another. They are persons in social relationship. The Father can be called Father only in relationship with the Son; The Son can be called Son only in relationship with the Father. The Spirit is the breath of the one who speaks… Being a person means “being in relationship.” – Jurgen Moltman, Humanity in God

The Doctrine of our being Image Bearers

As I mentioned in my sermon two weeks ago, God created man, male and female, to reflect and represent him in creation. Functionally, this was meant to be lived out in three ways: (1) in our cultural calling, (2) our relationship to God and (3) in our relationship to other persons made in God’s image.

Cultural Calling: God commands us to have rule over creation, to subdue and fill the earth, to work and care for the garden, and, ultimately, to care for the whole earth. Adam is put the man in the Garden of Eden to “work it and take care of it.” (Genesis 2:15). We are made to make. We are deeply wired by God to create. In the deepest sense of the word, we are creative, imaginative beings who long to take what God has already created and bring it into a new existence.

Spiritual Calling: Adam is given a command by God. He is free to eat of any tree in the garden but he is not free to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. (Genesis 2:16). Thus Adam’s freedom and creatureliness is lived and learned in a trusting, dependent, obedient, worshipping relationship to God His creator.   It is in dependence on God, trust in God’s Word, and loving obedience to God’s command that Adam lives in intimacy with God.

Relational Calling: The focus of Genesis 2 is that God calls us to interdependent alliance with other persons in our spiritual and cultural calling. What I want to focus on here is that it is with other image bearers that we rub shoulder, relate, talk. We scarcely can wrap our minds around the immense burden or “weight of glory” as C.S. Lewis put it this implies.

Dan Allender, in his excellent book on marriage, Intimate Allies, brings this out: “What we learn from Genesis 1 is that I am the pinnacle of God’s revelation of glory in creation. I am actually more impressive and lovely than any sunset, anyGrand Canyon, any created being. I uniquely reveal something about the glory of God. (p. 17)

“The startling truth behind the image of God is that we reflect the glory of our Heavenly Father…What an awesome privilege – to reflect, as finite beings, the infinite, perfect beauty of God. And we are able to do so only in the complexity and distinctiveness of both sexes. Both men and women are made in the image of God. Both are necessary to reflect God; one alone is not only incomplete but inadequate to reflect his glory.” (Intimate Allies, 19)

 Second, it is in the context of this calling (cultural, spiritual, relational) that God created man and woman in his image, as complementary sexual beings, for an intimate alliance in our calling to love and glory God and cultivate God’s creation.

 In Genesis 2 we discover the communal structure of humanity. “It is not good for the man to be alone” 2:18 (Hebrew lo tov, ‘not good’); This is the only negative assessment in the creation narrative, and it is emphatically negative. God leads Adam to see his ‘aloneness’ and ‘lack”; He brings the animals to Adam; Adam names them but none of the animals are sufficient (Gen. 2:19-20). Then God casts Adam into a deep sleep and creates Eve from Adam’s side.  Again, Dan Allender writes: “God does not exclusively fill the human heart. He made mankind to need more than himself. The staggering humility of God to make something that was not to be fully satisfied with the Creator and the creation is incomprehensible.”

Thus, we can conclude that at the core of who we are, we are created for relationship, for companionship, friendship, alliance, collaboration and interdependence: “Every human individual being either masculine or feminine, must abandon the illusion of being alone. The constitution of each of us summons to community.” – Henri Blocher, In the Beginning

 God creates Eve to be a “strong helper” to Adam

In her excellent book, Lost Women of the Bible, Carolyn Custis James points out, that o be a “strong helper” is the legacy of every woman: “Eve’s forgotten legacy resides in explicit statements God made when he created her. First, God created Eve to be him image bearer – in his image and likeness – and second, to be the ezer, or the strong helper. Furthermore, she shared with Adam what theologians call the “Cultural Mandate” – God’s command to be fruitful and multiply, to rule and subdue the earth. This global mandate included the call to reproduce physically and to engage in scientific, technological, and artistic pursuits. More importantly, the mandate was also profoundly spiritual and theological – the call to reproduce spiritually by multiplying worshippers of the living God and to extend God’s gracious rule over every inch of this planet. This staggering enterprise encompasses all dimensions of life and has occupied the human race ever since. God’s creation design for Eve applies to every woman all the time, from the cradle to the grave.”

She also draws attention to the fact that we need to recalibrate our understanding of what the language of helper means. “Throughout history the church has always zeroed in on “ezer” as the pre-Fall piece of Eve that defines a woman’s role and remained intact despite her sin. God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper [ezer] suitable for him (Gen. 2:18). The meaning of ezer, however, was diminished when translators rendered it helpmeet” and restricted it to marriage. A woman’s mission centered on home and family – vital spheres of ministry to be sure, but only a slice of the vast mission God originally cast by calling woman to rule and subdue the earth. Thinking regarding the ezer began to change when scholars pointed out that the word ezer is used most often (sixteen of the twenty-one occurrences) in the Old Testament to refer to God as Israel’s helper in times of trouble. That’s when ezer was upgraded to “strong helper,” leaving Christians debating among themselves over the meaning of “strong” and whether this affects woman’s rank with respect to the man. Further research indicates ezer  is a powerful Hebrew military word whose significance we have barely begun to unpack. The ezer is a warrior, and this has far-reaching implications for women, not only in marriage, but in every relationship, season, and walk of life.” – Carolyn Custis James, The Lost Women of the Bible

There is one purpose for every person

The ultimate purpose of our being created in the image of God, of our being male and female, of our sexuality, of our being single and being married is to glorify and love God by and help each other to glorify and love God as we cultivate and care for his creation.

John Piper makes that point in his strong and compelling way: “I have two simple and weighty points to make…The first is that sexuality is designed by God as a way to know God in Christ more fully. And the second is that knowing God in Christ more fully is designed of guarding and guiding our sexuality….God created human beings in his image – “male and female he created them” (Gen 1:27) – with capacities for intense sexual pleasure and with a calling to commitment in marriage and continence in singleness. And his goal in creating human beings with personhood and passion was to make sure that there would be sexual language and sexual images that would point to the promises and pleasures of God’s relationship to his people and our relationship to him. In other words, the ultimate reason (not the only one) why we are sexual is to make God more deeply knowable. The language and imagery of sexuality are the most graphic and powerful that the Bible uses to describe the relationship between God and his people – both positively (when we are faithful) and negatively (when we are not). – John Piper, Sex and the Supremacy of Christ

This Calling for both Singles and Married in the Church

It is vitally important to see that we share the same core, essential call as singles and married people: to love and glorify God, to help our neighbor love and glorify God, and to be allies in the care and cultivation of creation.

Singleness and marriage certainly are different contexts and different focuses in which one lives out this one calling. Think of them as different training grounds, or “seminaries” to learn and live this calling out; both have their unique challenges, loneliness, pain conflicts and both have different focuses in terms of energy and priorities. Nevertheless, both the “seminary” of singleness and the “seminary” of marriage have one end, one goal, one calling: that we would cultivate God’s creation to the glory of God and in interdependence with each other.

We are wired for deep relationship and profound alliance and collaboration and it is possible to develop as a whole and complete person as a single.

One can walk in profound spiritual friendship and deep collaboration as a single person. One does not have to wait to get married to begin his/her life. J.I. Packer writes: “Man as such is sexual (male and female), and sexuality being a characteristic of the whole person as a psychic as well as a physical aspect. The psychic side of sexuality, which today is unhelpfully isolated from the world of personal relationships and untruly equated with physical arousal, is actually a school for learning the practice and joy of appreciation, openness, involvement, service, and fidelity, all of which belong to the courtesy that the mysterious reality of the other sex demands. Since these lessons can be learned and this joy known in friendships between the sexes other than the physically expressed friendship of spouses, celibacy is not necessarily an impairing of humanness. The ministries of Jesus and Paul exemplify this.”

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Jesus and Gender

 In Genesis 1, God creates us in his image as male and female. According to the Bible, our gender is an irreducible part of who we are and essential to our calling as image bearers. In other words, God created us as sexual beings (male and female) to reflect God’s glory and represent God on earth.

The theologian Emil Brunner puts it this way: “Our sexuality penetrates to the deepest metaphysical ground of our personality. As a result the physical differences between the man and the woman are a parable of psychical and spiritual differences of a more ultimate nature.”

Many Christian preachers, theologians and writers have sought to create a summary definition and distinctives of masculinity and femininity. Here are some of those:

“At the heart of mature masculinity is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for and protect women in ways appropriate to a man’s differing relationships.” (John Piper)

“At the heart of mature femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a woman’s differing relationships.” (John Piper)

“The true masculine involves the power to prevail in the face of adversity – to stand strong and not compromise oneself or the truth. Radical obedience involves the true masculine.” (Andy Comiskey, Living Waters)

“The man operating in the true masculine is able to take his authority and enter the chaos of the world and create something but does so with tenderness.” (Janelle Hallman, Larry Crabb)

“The true feminine is described by Peter as a quality of the ‘inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit’ (I Peter 3:4). The woman operating in the true feminine is able to bring forth life and invite relationship with strength.” (Janelle Hallmen)

 While at times helpful and move us in the right direction, I have not found these definitions ultimately satisfying or compelling. A seminary course taught by J.I. Packer, however, has greatly helped me. Packer pointed my attention to how Jesus Christ was the paradigm of humanness, and how in Christ’s humanness we had a new perspective on masculinity and femininity.

Packer taught that:

“Christ at the paradigm of humanness. Jesus Christ, who as God is his Father’s image to perfection and who as incarnate is both God for man and man for God, is also man for man, his humanness being the model and archetype in terms of which alone do we learn to understand and manage our own humanness. In him we see lived out the incredible-sounding, unreal seeming paradoxes that embody the truest wisdom about life, e.g. that bondservice to God and others is freedom, in-service pain brings in-service joy, self-denial is self-fulfillment, humility is greatness, giving is gaining, unselfconsciousness is total awareness, etc.”

Packer also taught that:

“Jesus’ humanness is itself archetypal and embraces in itself all the humanness which engenders both male and female. Sanctification makes womanly qualities within the masculine frame; and masculine qualities within the womanly frame.”

In my sermon on Sunday, I shared an illustration that has helped me think about gender. I shared how I had grown up taking the bus from my home onCamano Island,WA, to school on the mainland in a small town named Stanwood. The drive would take us along the cliffs and banks ofCamanoIslandlooking down unto the beaches and across the Puget Sound to the mainland and to theCascade Mountainsin the distance. And since the bus rise was quite early in the morning, I saw thousands and thousands of sunrises. Each one unique; each one different. Some were brilliant in color; others muted. Some foggy. Some dark and broody, others with glints from the sun breaking through. Some were unspeakably clear and crisp. Each one had its own beauty and glory.

Perhaps it is helpful to think of gender in that way. There is an irreducible essence to being a woman or a man. Think of women as sunrises and men as sunsets. Now, just each sunrise is unique and beautiful and has its own glory as it, in its own way, reflects, hides, shade the rising sun and yet it remains a sunrise, so within being a woman, a female, there are all manners and shades and colors in which God’s glory and beauty (like the sun) are manifested and revealed; and yet remaining all the time a woman.

This has helped me. Perhaps it will help you. Perhaps not.

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Jesus and Defilement

Barb Knuckles has sent me some very thoughtful and helpful writings she has done in the area of our sexual brokenness and healing in this area. I asked Barb if I could share some of these thoughts on my pastor’s blog and she graciously said “Yes.” I found this particular writing on Jesus and Defilement very helpful. I have been meditating on how Jesus is pure and not defiled by us and able to bring healing into those places of defilement in our lives. 

Barb writes:

“Defilement is a huge issue with sexual abuse and sexual sin. There are a lot of scriptural references to defilement, but it is not a modern concept for us. It is an experiential reality. It isn’t the same as shame, and is not the same as sin. It is isolating, because it feels contagious. It is spiritually contagious, although I can’t explain it. The ritual cleanliness laws of the OT point to defilement’s spiritual contagiousness. I am careful about to whom and how I share my story because it can be defiling to those who hear. That’s ugly, and is a burden to me, but it is real, and is real to all who experience sexual abuse or are mired in sexual sin.” 

“The woman with the issue of blood was defiled. We get hung up on that as cultural, but it doesn’t matter and that’s not the point. Her defilement was spiritually contagious. If she touched someone, it disqualified them from coming before God until they were ritually cleansed. But she touched Jesus. She spread the contagion to him. She dared to touch him, although she was careful to touch only his clothing and not to touch him.” 

“The child in me did not want to be picked up by Jesus because I felt my own defilement so intensely that I believed that anyone who touched me would be dirtied too. How could Jesus, who is pure, touch a child like me? The defilement would get on him too. Then what? It isn’t dirt like the kind that can be showered off. It is like thick, black, tarry goo that sticks and fills me with revulsion. It’s not just outside, but inside as well. Everyone I have ever talked with that has experienced sexual abuse, describes it almost the same way, as thick, black, goo that is sticky and viscous, that is shameful and isolating. It is like spiritual leprosy. The wonder of the story is that Jesus was not angry. And the greatest joy is that he was not defiled by her defilement. Instead, he could remove her defilement for her and leave her clean. We miss the story if we interpret it as shame, or see the cleansing blood of Jesus as only cleansing guilt. It also cleanses us from defilement. I cannot tell you how important that it. Defilement always isolates. It is powerful.” 

“Jesus’ continued invitation to let him touch me, and reassurances from my counselor, slowly began to break the grip of the sense of defilement I always carried with me. The defilement was not a lie, so it wasn’t broken the way a lie is dealt with, by denying it and replacing it with truth. The lie was that I could not be cleansed, and that it would contaminate Jesus and that he would feel the revulsion toward me that I felt toward myself. I kept holding back and asking him if it was OK, telling him he would get dirty if he touched me. It was incredibly hard to let myself be touched, to believe that if I got his robe dirty, it was OK. There was repeated cleansing and the cleansing was an act of God, by the blood of Christ.” 

“The other similar story is the story of Mary Magdalene washing Jesus’ feet with her tears. She too was defiled, and she touched him. But he was not angry, and he was not defiled by her defilement. That is also a powerful touchstone story for me….” 

“The truth I have learned is that God is pure, always pure, and he cannot be defiled. He is the only one who cannot be defiled by contact with defilement. Things that are isolating because they are defiling, can be taken to him. They ought not be casually dumped into the community around us. Some people have been given grace by God to bear witness to evil without being defiled.”

“Innocence is fleeting; purity is renewable for eternity. Those who walk with the defiled ought to be choosing and renewing purity, rather be than innocent. Innocence is shocked and frightened by the depth and defilement of evil. I know that the defilement I have felt is far less contagious than it seemed to me.”

“The stories of lepers are unique from other kinds of healing because of the defilement aspect. These people were ostracized but not because of guilt. They were contagious. They were unclean and experienced separation from community and from God. They had done nothing wrong. Defilement had befallen them. It took the power of Christ to cleanse them so they could reenter the community. He did not deny their defilement or say it was a lie, or that it didn’t matter because they were innocent victims. He cleansed them. He took it seriously. There aren’t many healings of lepers recorded. It takes incredible courage for a defiled person to ask someone who is pure to touch them. I can’t describe it, but the terror of defiling another is intense. Some prefer to spread it around, so they don’t feel so alone. But most children (at heart) simply hide.” 

“This is an issue for everyone. We live in a culture that is defiling. We are dismissive of the idea of defilement. Or we close our eyes to it because it is less painful than recognizing and feeling it keenly, and we don’t like to be subject to the mockery and contempt heaped on those who cherish purity.”

Conclusion

In my sermon this Sunday, I look forward to lifting Jesus up before our eyes – He who is the image (ikon) of the invisible God, He who is the Firstborn over all Creation, He who made all things and sustain all things, He for whom all things exist, He who is supreme Lord over all, He who is the one in whom God is reconciling all things to Himself. It is in Jesus that we have hope of Rescue, Redemption, Restoration!

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Apologia

As we begin this ten week preaching series on “godly sexuality” I can imagine many people – both Christians and non-Christians asking the question why? I will take a moment to provide a brief apologia, or defense, of this preaching series.

For example, a non-Christian might ask, why are Christians so hung up on sex? Aren’t there more important topics to cover? Why does it matter what people do in the privacy of their bedroom?

This is a good question. Let me take a moment to answer it. This ten week preaching series on “godly sexuality” is the final part of a three part teaching series with the overarching theme of “Faithful Presence.” In April, May and June we looked at the Bible’s teaching on justice and mercy and how God called his people to “faithful presence” in this aspect of life. In July and August we considered the theme of identity and vocation from the book of Esther. We asked “what does it look like to be ‘faithfully present’ in our callings, in our workplace? Finally, we are turning our attention to the question of faithful presence as it relates to reflecting God’s call on our life as his people in the areas of our sexuality and sexual practices. So we are looking at sex in the broader context of being a faithful people in the areas of mercy and justice, of calling and work, and, now, in the area of sex.

Another question that I have heard is something alone these lines: Why would we devote 10 weeks to preaching on godly sexuality? Couldn’t we do this in a better forum than when the whole community is gathered for worship?

This is also a good question. Let me try to answer it.

To be a Christian means to confess that Jesus Christ is Lord over every aspect of our life, including our sexuality. To be a Christian also means to be part of the community of people who confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. Jesus has something very clear and definitive, and, I think, compelling to say to his children in this area of our life. Under the Lordship of Christ, the church is meant to be a counter-cultural community, as the late John Stott put it, as God’s “New Society” that models a whole new way of being human, including in the area of our sexual relationships. I want us to take time to listen, to let His Word press deeply into this area of our lives and shape and influence us.

We also need to take the time to be reflective and intentional about this vital area of life because we live in an age in which sex is a great idol. It is important to point out that the idol of sex is not unique to our age. One only needs to go back into the stories of the Old Testament to see how powerful and pervasive this idol was. And one only needs to read Paul’s letter to the Corinthian Church to see what an idol sex was in the age of the Apostles.

The powerful idolatry of sex today is seen in the absolute and infallible autonomy each individual person is assumed to have when it comes to their own sexual ethic and practices. In contrast to this prevelant assumption of the autonomy of the individual in regard to his or her sexual practices, Stanley Hauerwas points out in his classic work, A Community of Character, sex is a public issue and states that “any attempt to reclaim an authentic Christian ethic of sex must begin by challenging the assumption that sex is a ‘private’ matter. The foreigness and “otherworldliness” of the idea that sex might not just be a matter for the individual but also a public matter that effects the whole community is an indication of how pervasive the idol of sex is even within the Christian church in terms of influencing our attitudes and assumptions.

The powerful idolatry of sex is seen also in how sex is used to sell everything. As it commonly quipped, sex sells. Sex is a power. In those who fall under the spell of this idol, it traps, exploits, enslaves, and destroys persons, families, and even whole societies.

Under the pressure of this potent idol, the church must stand her ground. We must proclaim the goodness of sex and our sexuality as a gift of God and we must also walk within the life-giving boundaries God-designed for sex and our sexuality. So powerful is this idol that we cannot do this alone. We need each other! We need to call each other to faithfulness to Christ! We need to lift each other up when we fall! We need to hold tight to those who are tempted and straying. We need to teach and rebuke! We need to counsel and care!

Think of the church standing her ground against the powerful idolization of sex in our culture (and in our own hearts) as a rugby scrum, that part of a rugby match where the two teams link arms and legs and push against each other. That is the kind of force of exertion that is needed for the church to be faithful to Her Lord and her call to be God’s new society today.

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Biblical Principles of godly sexuality

These principles will be affirmed and communicated throughout this preaching series on “godly sexuality”.

We are created as sexual beings

First, God created us as and blessed us as sexual beings. Our sexuality – maleness and femaleness –  are irreducible to who we are as persons; they are of the very essence of who we are.

Therefore, on the one hand our sexual identity is not something to be ashamed of or feel guilty about. As a Christian community we want to be able to talk openly and honestly about this aspect of our life. Sin holds power over our life when it remains hidden and covered in shame and fear. We experience healing and transformation as we walk in the light and apply the grace of Jesus to our brokenness.

On the other hand this is not a subject to treat lightly or flaunt. Our sexual identities and struggles, our wounds and shame, our brokenness and beauty must be treated with (1) deep seriousness because we know the dignity and glory God designed us to be and (2) deep hope because we believe in Jesus there is a mighty power to bring about redemption and healing in this area of our lives.  

God has designed sexual boundaries

Second, God has designed us to experience and enjoy sexual intimacy within life-giving boundaries. These boundaries (1) teach us that God is our LORD. As our Creator He reigns over us. He has authority to establish boundaries; these boundaries are not arbitrary. They are created to reveal, guard and preserve Love for God and love for our neighbor; (2) remind us that God is our Father. We can trust Him that he who made us knows us best. His boundaries are life-giving even though they inevitably include some degree of suffering to live in; within the discipline of these boundaries we grow and mature as human beings through the calling and suffering of sexual integrity, sexual wholeness, and sexual purity; (3) reveal that God alone is our summon bonum, our chief and ultimate good. We are created for intimacy with God. Apart from God we will be unsatisfied and restless of soul. What are those boundaries?

First, God calls us to robust friendships and deep non-sexual relationships within and across gender boundaries. We are made for the profound intimacy of spiritual, life-giving friendship and deep relational bonds with people of the same and opposite sex.

Second, sexual intimacy is to be kept with within the exclusive, covenantal, monogamous marriage relationship between a man and a woman. God chose heterosexual marriage between people who are radically “other” (male and female) because it is in the context of a marriage relationship that we  both know God (who is ultimately “Other”) and show God (It is not just “man” or “woman” who is in the image of God but “male and female” that reveal the full image of God).

The foundation of the marriage relationship is the covenant – the oath and promises – taken before God and in the presence of witnesses.  Marriage unites a man and a woman in a permanent, monogamous covenant relationship and cultural partnership which Dan Allender helpfully calls an “intimate alliance.” Husband-Wife intimacy includes these different areas of intimacy: social intimacy (two families, histories, patterns of life, sets of friends, etc. coming together), financial (or cultural) intimacy, sexual intimacy and spiritual intimacy. One of the reasons that pre-marital sex is so damaging is that it seeks to enjoy sexual intimacy apart and removed from these other areas of covenantal intimacy. But sexual intimacy is best enjoyed and nurtured in the committed covenantal relationship that binds all these intimacies together.

Everyone is broken sexually

Everyone is sexually broken and has sexual wounds.  That is, we have broken God’s designed boundaries (and thus wounded others). And people have broken God’s boundaries in violation of us (wounding us). We must assume that to some degree every person is sexually broken. It would be appropriate for Christians to use the language of AA: My name is Jason, and I am sexually broken in this way…”

Sexual sins are always, “branch sins” of the deeper “root sins” underneath. Often it is necessary to get the “branch sin” under control but never forget that for lasting, permanent change the root sins need to be addressed by the gospel and through Christian community and, often, counseling. Examples of root sins are (1) unforgiveness (not having forgiven people for past hurt, sexual abuse, etc.), (2) pride (often looks like self-righteousness, defensiveness, rationalizing), (3) unbelief (not trusting God that He is good and loves them personally), (4) Shame (not functionally believing they are covered, loved, accepted in Jesus), (5) Idolatry (looking to something else, i.e. sex, to be one’s Savior), (6), Secondary identities made primary (not basing one’s identity in Christ and one’s relationship to God but in some sub-identity: gender, ethnicity, wealth, family status, education, work resumee, etc.)

Jesus alone walked in Godly sexuality and so is able to be our Savior

Jesus alone lived and modeled “godly sexuality”. Jesus is the God-Man. Jesus was fully God and, at the same time, fully man. He had a sexual identity as a male. In Jesus we see a man who lived a full and complete human life as a sexual being without sin. If we want to see what it looks like for a human being to lead a life that is pleasing to God we must look to Jesus.

In Jesus we see sexual integrity. That is, who Jesus was on the “outside” (what he did) matched who he was on the “inside”(what he loved, what he thought).  Christ’s heart was motivated by love for God and love for people. Jesus walked in intimacy with God his Father, and consequently in chastity with all people. He did not use people in sexual ways to fulfill his own lust; he did not take advantage of people to fulfill his own sexual desires.

What does Jesus’ sexual integrity mean for us? First, it means that Jesus’ perfect sexual integrity is transferred to us when we believe in him. This is the doctrine of justification. God declares us righteous and covers us in the “alien righteousness” of Jesus. In the sight of God, we stand before him as holy and blameless as Christ himself. Second, it means that by the power of Jesus in us we are transformed so that our outward behavior (actions) are coming more and more in line with the desires of the Holy Spirit in us. As we put off the “old man” which is being corrupted by evil desires, and put on the “new man” which is created to be like Christ Jesus in true righteousness and holiness.

In Jesus we see sexual wholeness. That is, Jesus brought the fullness of who God had made Him as a sexual being into all of His relationships and every aspect of His life. In Jesus we see that one can live a “full” and “whole” life as a single person apart from sexual intimacy. As a man, Jesus was both strong and courageous (typical masculine characteristics) and gentle and compassionate (typical female characteristics).

What does Jesus sexual wholeness mean for us? First, we must reject any viewpoint that equates sexual wholeness with experiencing sexual intimacy. One may live a fully human and relationally intimate life as a single man or woman. We must also refuse to (1) comform to a cultural stereotypes of masculinity or feminity (i.e., you haven’t come of age until you have had sex) or (2) be passive in regards to accepting and responsibly engaging your masculinity or femininity in all relationships and life. 

In Jesus we also see sexual purity. Jesus lived within the sexual boundaries God’s Word prescribed. In both his actions and his thought, Jesus obeyed God’s commands and thus he loved God and his neighbor. Jesus trusted His heavenly Father’s plan for human relationships and human flourishing. Thus, in Jesus we see the dignity, beauty and impact of sexual purity.

What does Jesus sexual purity means for us? It means that we must believe that sexual purity (living within God’s boundaries) is the path to love God and our neighbor. Negatively, observing God’s boundaries constrains us not to make an idol, a god, out of sex. By saying “no” to sex outside of His boundaries, God calls us to find our rest, our satisfaction, and our self in Him. Positively, observing God’s commands constrains us to be “for others” in the most radical way – by engaging the “other” in life-giving, sexually appropriate, spiritual friendships and by preserving and protecting the sexual wholeness and integrity of the “other” by one’s chastity.

The gospel must be regularly applied to our sexual brokenness

The gospel of Jesus must be intentionally and regularly applied to our sexual brokenness if one is to experience the healing of our sexual brokenness. This includes:

Confessing: Our sexual brokenness – both branch and root sins – must be brought into the light (confessed) and turned from (repentance). The power of sin is when it remains hidden. Our shame makes us want to hide. But knowing the eternal and unbreakable love and acceptance of God our Father, and in a community of grace, we are able to bring our brokenness out into the light, name it, confess it, and repent (turn) from it. Confession goes counter to today’s pluralistic culture and sexual “liberation” but it remains an absolutely essential characteristic of godly sexuality and sexual healing.

Rejoicing: We must rejoice daily that through the gospel not only are our sins (including sexual sins) are forgiven but also Christ’s sexual purity, wholeness, and integrity have been “imputed” to us so that we stand “holy and blameless” before God in Jesus’ alien righteousness. We must daily “orient ourselves” and “do business” with the great truth of our Justification, our righteous status before God. We must not base our justification (our secure standing as beloved children of God) based on our sanctification (how we are doing in our walk of holiness). Rather, we must base our sanctification on our justification. We must learn the spiritual discipline of “preaching the gospel” to ourselves daily. Galatians 3 teaches us that as we believe in the gospel of Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit is poured out into our lives. Thus, the key to sanctification is a daily orientation to our justification.

Christian community is necessary for the healing of sexual brokenness

It is vitally important to recognize that we experience the healing of our sexual brokenness and move towards godly sexuality (purity, integrity, and wholeness) through Christian community. God created us as social beings; we are not designed to be isolated; we are meant to belong in community. Christianity is community in Jesus Christ and through Jesus Christ. As the New Testament puts it, the church is the body of Christ (I Corinthians 12:12ff). When we are baptized “into Christ” we become members of his body and we belong to each other (Romans 12:5). Consequently, in the presence of my brother or sister in Christ, Christ touches me, speaks to me, ministers to me, challenges me, etc. There are many kinds of Christian relationships within Christian community and each of these relationships plays a role in the healing of our sexual brokenness. These include:  (1) Spiritual friendships within and across gender lines, (2) Accountability, confessing, gospel-reinforcing relationships, (3) Life-affirming relationships in which we give and receive joy from one another, (4) relationships and community that call forth our strengths and gifts, and (5) For some, Christian marriage. What is vitally important to recognize is that while our sin isolates us from each other, Christ’s grace and forgiveness creates a community of broken sinners-rejoicing saints who love, welcome, serve and belong one to another. It is within such a gospel community that our sexual brokenness can be brought into the light (confessed and repented of) and true community and healing experienced (through the forgiveness of sin, through unconditional love, and through the shepherding of one another as Christ shepherds us).

We must learn to live in the tension of the already and the “not yet”

Understanding the path from sexual brokenness to sexual integrity, wholeness and purity involves holding together two truths that may, at times, feel in tension.

On the one hand, Christ’s healing power is real, as theologians say, it is “already.” We can hope in and seek real, significant, substantial healing and restoration of our sexual brokenness. The mighty power of God is at work in our lives. The Holy Spirit desires for and is working for our full conformity to Christ. Therefore, we must be realistic about the long-path of healing that lies before us and, at the same time, have a robust and steadfast hope that Christ is at work in our lives and able to heal us substantially in this area of our brokenness.

On the other hand, the healing of our sexual brokenness is a lifetime process and will not be fully complete in this life. As theologians say, it is “not yet.”  For some people, their sexual wounds and brokenness go so deep that while we never lose hope in the power of the gospel to heal we are also realistic that miracle healing in their life may look very different than the people whose sexual brokenness is much more of a surface level. Thus we need to enter into the path of the healing of sexual brokenness recognizing that we are not expecting a “quick fix” and that we expect to need to have a long perseverance and commitment. Most people simply want “relief” and not “restoration.” The path of reconciliation is a life-long path. The following are some of the practices of life-long sexual healing.

To live joyfully within the tension of the “already” and the “not yet” of the healing of our sexual brokenness we must steadfastly, daily, engage the “means of grace” our Heavenly Father has given to us to guide, strengthen, form, encourage, nurture, train, discipline, and heal us. These include but are not limited to:  Individual, family, and corporate worship, preaching the gospel to yourself, living in Christian community (including getting guidance from a counselor, participating in a support group, etc.).

Finally, living in the tension of the already and the not yet will require the practice of commitment, of perseverance. What Eugene Peterson calls “a long obedience in the same direction”

 We must assume a life of suffering

As Christians who have accepted to live according to God’s sexual boundaries, who live under the command and Lordship of Christ, who are deeply broken and in whom the grace of Christ is working an even deeper healing, we must assume that God has called us to a life of suffering. To obey God’s commands is to accept a life of suffering.

That the Christian is called to a life of suffering is perhaps the most important principle of all. It is certainly the most anti-American. I am convinced that the Christian church in the west must develop a robust “theology and ethic of suffering” or we will have completely failed to equip the saints to walk in obedience to Christ.

Embracing a robust theology-ethic of suffering is especially relevant in the practice of godly sexuality and includes these elements: (1) To be a Christian requires one to take up the cross, in other word, to die to oneself, to no longer seek to save one’s own life, and to follow Christ wherever he leads, even if that leads to suffering. As Dietrich Bonhoeffer put it, “when Jesus calls us to himself he bids us come and die.”  (2) To follow Christ in the area of godly sexuality will involve some degree of suffering. For all Christians this suffering will include saying “no” to many of our sexual desires and “putting to death” the misdeeds of our bodies. It will also include the “death” of the confession of our own sin and the offering of forgiveness to those who have sinned sexually against us. For single Christians this suffering will involve intentional celibacy. (3) Christian suffering will include the rejection of the lie prevalent in our age: that if something feels good it is right at least “for me.” Sex feels good (at least on the surface of things) and therefore it is ok to have sex outside of God-ordained sexual boundaries. (4) Finally, a theology-ethic of suffering means to bear the rejection and shame that accompanies identifying oneself with Christ and with his sexual ethic which is viewed as out-dated and even destructive to many of our friends, peers, associates and family members. We must be willing to accept the public humiliation and potentially, even the persecution and martyrdom that such identification may result in.

Finally, it must be said that there is a great reward to the path of suffering. To try to satisfy one’s soul through sex, cheapens and degrades a person. But, in contrast,  to live in purity and sexual chastity, rather than degrading a person, ennobles and makes great a person through the path of suffering out of love and obedience to God. The discipline of celibacy can make you kinder, wiser, more noble than you ever dreamed. Obedience always causes one to suffer but it gives a weight of glory; In the language of John Bunyan, it makes one a “Greatheart.”

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Godly Sexuality: Theological Assumptions

There are three theological assumptions that will be foundational in the godly-sexuality preaching series and, indeed, to the entire Christian life.

The first theological assumption is that the Bible is God’s Word. This means two things for us as Christians.

First, as Christians, the Bible is our authority. As the Protestant Reformers put it, it is the norma normata; that is, the rule and norm over every other norm.  This is very important to affirm in the area of sexuality which touches on very personal areas of our life and relationships and on very powerful physical drives in our bodies. As a church, and as individual Christians, we must submit to the ultimate authority of God through Scripture over our lives, our thoughts, and our actions. Therefore, we should expect the Bible to confront and challenge all of us as individuals as well as as a church and as a society. We must refuse to make God into our “image”, a kind of “Stepford God” who fits into our cultural norms, attitudes and values. In the movie “Stepford Wives” a group of husbands in Stepford have the opportunity to make their wives into robots who are incredibly beautiful and who do their every bidding. These robot wives do not cross their wills. These men had, in essence, lost any real relationship with their wives because a  real relationship with someone must include them being able to cross your will. We are not in a real relationship with God unless he is able to “cross our will.” God “crosses our will” in His Word. In sum, God’s Word is the authority over us and to which we must submit in every area of our life, including our sexuality.

Second, because the Bible is God’s Word, it is sufficient to guide us in every area of faith and life. So much could be said here. Think for a moment of Scripture’s massive sufficiency and potency: Through Scripture we learn of God’s love for us demonstrated supremely at the Cross. Through Scripture our Heavenly Father speaks to us, rebukes us, comforts us, pleads with us, and gives us His precious promises. Through Scripture God explains what is wrong with us and points us again and again to our Savior, Jesus. Through Scripture we learn where we need to repent and what a godly life looks like. Through Scripture we are instructed in and strengthened for our daily walk as Christians.

In particular, God’s Word is rich in its “good news” and practical instructions in the area of the healing of our sexual brokenness. Through Scripture we see what God designed us to be and how far we have fallen from his design. In its pages we learn of the deep sins beneath the sins that are “root sins” of our sexual brokenness (unbelief, idolatry, fear, shame, pride, religion, unforgiveness). Through Scripture, we see also learn of the “good news” for us in Jesus: (1) that Jesus lived the beautiful life of sexual purity and integrity that we should have lived, and died the death of judgment and punishment that we should have died, (2) that God raised Jesus from the grave and vindicated him, (3) that when we trust in Jesus, His perfect record (which includes his spotless sexual purity) is imputed to us so that we are not only forgiven of our sins, but, in the sight of God, positively “holy and blameless” and (4) that Jesus’ Spirit comes to live in us and begin to make us holy from the “inside out”.  Through Scripture, we also learn that in Jesus we are no longer be covered in shame but are commanded to bring our sin out into the light, to confess our sins to one another, to repent and turn from them, and to, in Christian community, begin to experience the healing grace of Jesus. Through Scripture we also have set before us instructions, a path of godly sexuality. For example, in Proverbs we are given the eternal wisdom of sexual fidelity within and sexual chastity outside of marriage and we see an example of a father instructing his son. In the Song of Solomon, we are given the wisdom for engaging in passionate, romantic, sensual, covenantal married love.  In sum, the Scriptures are sufficient to guide us in all of faith and life, and, in particular, to guide us in the area of godly sexuality.

The second theological assumption is that we are engaged in a spiritual battle. As Christians we must never forget that each of us is in a battle. AsSt. Paul put it, our “battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (Ephesians 6:12). As Philo of Alexandria put it: “Be kind. Everyone is fighting a great battle.” Traditionally this battle has been spoken of as having three “fronts”: 

The first “front” is the battle with the flesh. By the “flesh” (Greek: sarx) we mean, not the physical body, but the sinful nature that is ever and always at enmity with God. The flesh hates God, hates God’s truth, and will never submit to God’s reign: “The sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other so that you do not do what you want.” (Galatians 5:17-18). Regeneration, that mighty work of the Holy Spirit, plants a “seed” of God’s holiness in us so that (1) we are a new creation (I Corinthians 5:17), (2) have God’s spiritual DNA in us so that in our heart of hearts we want what is Holy, and (3) the Holy Spirit dwells within us. This new – deep down – principle of holiness and the Holy Spirit within us are in never-ending conflict with the flesh. So our bodies, our mind, our wills become the “battleground” where this war is played out. We feel this conflict within us and cry out “what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” (Romans 7:14). Thus we are commanded, by the help of the Holy Spirit, to put to death the “misdeeds of the body” (Romans 8:13). In conclusion, as we step into pastoral care we must remember that each Christian is daily experiencing this mighty battle in their bodies in which the Spirit of Christ wars against the flesh.

The second “front” is the battle with the world. Used in this way, the “world” does not signify the earth or humanity, but rather the spirit of the age, the values and ideologies and mindset of fallen humanity that is in rebellion from God and does not submit to his Lordship. The “world” takes many forms. It can take the form of self-righteous religion that seeks to avoid Jesus as a Savior by denying the reality of personal sin and wickedness and that points to sin being “outside” the church, in the “sinners” out there. It can also take the form of secular materialism in its modern or post-modern varieties. Christians today must be on their guard against the world in all its forms: religion that hides sin and pretends to be righteous, that despises the wickedness it sees in “sinners” out there but fails to see its own pride and ungodliness; and the pervasive sensualism of our time that views “hook-ups” as natural, sex as a merely physical act, and the availability and access to pornography as, if not a good thing, an inevitable and natural part of life. In conclusion, in our pastoral care we must remember that the saints are navigating through this world with all of its traps and seductions.

The third “front” is the battle with the devil. The Bible teaches us that we have an enemy. This enemy wants to steal, kill and devour (John 10:10). The devil cannot create life or even pleasure. He can only distort, pervert, pollute and kill and the life, gifts, joys and pleasures that our Heavenly Father gives us. He is a liar; and his chief weapon in his arsenal is the lie. As sons and daughters of Adam and Eve, we are born into this world as children of the devil and as members of his kingdom. As Scott Peck put it, we are “children of the lie.” In his grace, God our Father has rescued of from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves (Colossians 1:13). Though we are in Christ’s kingdom we are still susceptible to the lie of the devil. We still bear in our minds and hearts many false beliefs. We still can fall sway to the lies of the devil, to the systems and ways of the world, to following the pack, and to the guilt and shame the devil uses to paralyze and pollute us. In conclusion, in our pastoral care for people we must never forget that they have an enemy who is seeking to devour them and destroy their lives and that he often does this through lies they believe. This is why insisting on Christians functionally believing the truth of God is so vital.

The third theological assumption is that the full sexual restoration that began at the point of regeneration (conversion) and is slowly progressing (sanctification) will be inevitably and unstoppably completed (glorification) in each Christian. The Christian is, therefore, a person of hope. Our hope is not in itself. It is in the Mighty Salvation of God. It is in the Faithful Perseverance of God. It is in the Power of the Gospel to deconstruct our broken selves and conform us into the presence of Jesus. Our hope is in the unswerving purposes of God’s sovereign will. It is in the Comforting and Healing Presence of the Holy Spirit our convictor and counselor. It is anchored on the bedrock of the Promises of God to finish the good work he has begun. Our hope clings to Jesus our incarnate, crucified, and risen LORD.

This means, consequently, that Christians also have great hope for others. We believe that there is no one beyond the grace of God. We believe that there is no one too trapped in sin and addiction that God’s grace can’t rescue them; that there is no one so enslaved to sexual sin that God’s grace can’t free them; that there is no one is so wounded by abuse that God’s grace can’t free them; that there is no one to hard of heart or to distant from God that God can’t pursue them. We believe, in short, in a Savior. A Rescuer. A healer. A Lion. A Lamb. The God who is the “I Am” and the “Alpha” and “Omega”. We are people of hope not only for ourselves but for others because we have experienced the amazing, pursuing, rescuing, freeing, forgiving, redeeming, restoring, regenerating, relentless grace of God.

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Reflections on Godly Sexuality

 St. Augustine once said that he wrote so that he might think. It is with that same desire to think clearly in this vitally important area of godly sexuality that I am now gathering my scattered thoughts as well as the insights of others – insights that have helped me over the years – and pulling them together on my blog.

I hope by gathering these Reflections on Godly Sexuality I might provide for my congregation: spiritual food for those who are left hungry by the fleeting pleasures of this world, guidance for those who have lost the way of God’s design for their sexuality, truth for those who continue to fall prey to the lies of the Devil, the world, and the flesh, comfort for those who are overwhelmed by the shame, guilt and defilement of sexual sin and have lost sight of the Rescuer, healing grace for those whose souls continue to bleed from past wounds, true community for those who feel isolated by their sexual sin or the sin of others against them, and freedom for those enslaved by the web sexual addiction.

 I do not pretend that these reflections are systematic, though they will generally follow the 10 week sermon series that I plan to begin on September 18^th.

 What do I mean by godly sexuality?

 By godly sexuality I mean that our sexuality and our sexual practices must not be separated from our ultimate calling to know, love, seek, desire, pursue, worship, obey, and delight in the LORD God. He designed us as sexual beings so that we might know and love Him more fully.  AsSt. Paul puts it in I Corinthians 6:13, “The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.”

 By godly sexuality I mean too that to be a Christian is to confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, that there is not a square inch of life that Jesus Christ does not say “it is mine.” This includes, of course, our sexuality and sexual practices. As Christians we are purchased by the blood of Christ. Our lives are not our own. We are His. And as His, we are to submit to His command no matter the cost or the suffering involved.

By godly sexuality I mean, finally, that unique, beautiful, soul and body satisfying, community building, vision for sexuality that the Christian Scriptures present and that, when practiced, makes the Christian church a counter-cultural community that models an alternative approach to sex in western sensate, sexually polymorphous, post-Christian culture.

 In these Reflections I hope to present Scripture’s vision for godly sexuality in such a way that skeptics and seekers might understand, if not appreciate, the Christian sexual doctrine and ethic, and that my brothers and sisters in Christ might be more and more delighted to walk in God’s design for their sexuality and so be formed into that sanctorum communio that is a witness to the suffering and sanctifying power of Christ.

Dear spiritual family,

On September 18th, we are beginning the third part of our “Faithful Presence” series. Part one focused on mercy and justice while part two focused on identity and vocation. In the third part of this series, we will be focusing on “godly sexuality.”

This will be a ten week preaching series. Along with the preaching series we will be offering a number of different “paths” to press into this important area of our lives. First, I want to take some time to give you reasons for this preaching and teaching series. Second, I would like to explain what some of these different paths are.

The reasons for this preaching and teaching series

The first reason is a kingdom reason: Jesus Christ is Lord over our sexuality. There is not a square inch of life that Jesus Christ does not say “it is mine.” This includes our bodies, our sexual ethic, and our sexual practices. The Church must apply the truth of Jesus to this area of life in a winsome yet uncompromising way. She must also equip and encourage the saints to understand and address this vital area of life as we seek to live as citizens of the kingdom of God.

The second reason I chose this theme is a personal reason:Christians – all of us – including myself, struggle to some degree with sexual brokenness. At the same time, the gospel of Jesus Christ is able to provide powerful healing in this area of our life. This area of brokenness is often either neglected or taught in such an ungracious and legalistic way that Christians are trapped in their shame, confusion, and addictions. The gospel of grace redeems and liberates Christians to

1. Find deep forgiveness and healing from cycles of sin and shame and to rejoice and hope in Jesus’ moral beauty and faithfulness in this area,
2. Appreciate and enjoy our sexuality as a gift of God given to be exercised in appropriate ways and within appropriate boundaries,
3. Learn how to live as an alternative community modeling a whole different way to be human.

The third reason is a social reason: We live in a sensual, post-Christian culture. Christian sexual boundaries and virtues are not shared by many of our friends, neighbors and associates and are often seen as personally and socially damaging. The resulting social pressure has led to confusion among Christians and churches even to the point of denominations moving away from the classical Christian ethic regarding sexual boundaries and virtues. The erosion of Christian sexual boundaries and virtues in both the society and the church is resulting in significant social disintegration. As the “pillar and foundation” of truth, the church must be willing to go to the “front-lines” where there is societal conflict (certainly this is one of those areas). In this context the Christian church must speak prophetically and act redemptively, bringing the truth of the gospel of Grace to bear upon the beliefs and practices of this central and vital area of human existence.

Last year my three sons, myself, and my brother began to meet on Monday evenings at our home to have a “guy time”. My brother and I wanted to create a safe and comfortable place for us to share with our boys God’s desire for us to walk in “godly sexuality”, to create a “safe place” for us to share concrete areas of sexual brokenness that we struggled in, and to be able to encourage one another. These were special times for us as guys to be together and talk. As we did this I thought to myself, “If this is important enough to do with my family, surely it is important enough to do with my spiritual family.” I pray that God will use this season to help us apply his gospel to this important area of our life.

“Paths” of the Preaching and Teaching Series

• Preaching Series: A 10 week preaching focus (creating a culture of the gospel and language in this area) beginning Sunday, September 18th – Sunday, November 30th (2011).
• Prayer: The Sunday morning prayer team would be honored to pray with you during the series including prayer for gospel healing and kingdom breakthroughs in your life in this area.
• Sunday Evening Teaching and Prayer: On Sunday evenings we will be offering another venue for more in-depth teaching regarding godly sexuality; this teaching will develop themes that were touched on in the Sunday morning sermon. The Sunday evening time will also include more in-depth testimonies as well as a time of sharing and prayer. Think large support group.
• Community Group Ministry: We seek for our community groups to be “safe places” for broken people to be known and loved and where the healing medicine of the gospel can be applied to their wounds in gracious community. Our community groups are “spiritual families” where we can repent of habits of broken sexuality and nurture new habits and patterns of godly sexuality. They are also to be “alternative communities” that model a new way of being human, i.e. godly sexuality.
• A Godly Sexuality “Tool Kit”: The church will provide resources which will include (1) summaries of the basic teaching of the gospel in this area and (2) resources available including support groups, seminars, books, counselors, etc.
• Pastoral Care: We will be identifying gospel hearted lay “listeners” and “pastoral care” providers who will meet with sexual strugglers for a 5 week period to listen, bring gospel truth, and help determine “next steps” for a life of healing.

Conclusion

Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions.

May God continue to make us a community of grace where we are experiencing the restoring and healing work of the gospel in our lives.

Grace, Jason

Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote these words from his prison cell at New Year 1943 to his pastoral colleagues who stood against the Nazi Regime.

They remain true today:

“Who stands fast? Only the man whose final standard is not his reason, his principles, his conscience, his freedom or his virtue, but who is ready to sacrifice all this when he is called to obedient and responsible action in faith and in exclusive allegiance to God – the responsible man, who tries to make his whole life an answer to the question and call of God. Where are these responsible people?”

He also points out the subtle ways that people, even Christians, shun responsible action:

“Here and there people flee from public altercation into the sanctuary of private virtuousness. But anyone who does this must shut his mouth and his eyes to the injustice around him. Only at the cost of self-decption can he keep himself pure from the contamination arising from responsible action. In spite of all that he does, what he leaves undone will rob him of his peace of mind. He will either go to pieces because of his disquet, or become the most hypocritical of Pharisees.”

This Sunday we will consider the ninth and tenth chapters of Esther and consider how to step out in responsible and concrete action in the midst of the moral complexities and ambiguities of life.

Grace, jason